All cheaters are likely to make excuses after being caught cheating. However, certain gaslighting behaviors are more associated with men. If you have already fallen victim to infidelity in your relationship, it makes sense to recognize common red flags.
Toxic traits are seldom expressed in isolation. If your boyfriend or husband cheats, chances are it will happen again. At the very least, you have a right to feel concerned about repeat transgressions. Recognizing the same signs can help you confirm or put to rest any suspicions.
Lack of Intimacy
Lack of intimacy in a relationship is one of the most common excuses for cheating. If sex has slowed down or stopped at home, men often feel entitled to seek satisfaction elsewhere. However, this is not a justification for being unfaithful.
The man is under no obligation to remain in a relationship. There are other ways of addressing lack of intimacy other than cheating. Unless you have expressly given permission to seek sex outside of the relationship, blaming you for the infidelity is unfair.
Men who work in high pressure jobs may use the resulting stress as an excuse to sleep around. The reality is that such careers often provide opportunities, rather than motive for cheating. Work trips, business expenses and having to attend to emergencies are just some of the ideal cover stories.
By telling you that it was the stress of work that caused him to cheat, the man absolves himself of responsibility. Getting caught only means he has to convince you that the motive justified his behavior. In the future, he will simply change the excuses for needing to stay away from home.
Lack of Appreciation
It is quite easy for a gaslighter to come up with countless ways that you failed to appreciate him – after the fact. Men who cheat regularly have mastered excuses that place the blame on the injured party. He may use terms like “I shouldn’t have to ask you for recognition” or “You never listen anyway” to make you doubt yourself.
You are not responsible for another adult’s inability to communicate needs and concerns. This excuse is one of convenience. If your man tries to make you feel guilty about actions or inactions that were never discussed previously, he is likely hiding the real reason for cheating.
Call EPIS today if you are concerned that your boyfriend or husband is cheating again. We can conduct an investigation that will cut through any attempts at gaslighting.