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Signs that your partner may be having an online affair (or even an in person one)
Spends excessive time on the computer to use the Internet. Your partner is always in a chartroom or plays an online game constantly. Social settings online are the perfect place to meet and stay in touch with a new mate from the comfort of your home PC.
Is secretive about Internet/computer usage. This secrecy takes the form of hiding the screen, abruptly closing windows when you walk by, closing the laptop or turning off the computer all together. Many people eventually move the computer to a more private place.
No longer joins you for sleep at the same time. They stay at the computer when you have gone to bed, often times urging you to sleep without them.
 Sex becomes less frequent. They are suddenly "too tired", or "not in the mood". They haven't really lost interest in sex; they've lost interest in sex with you. During the times you do have sex your partner is 'not as into it'. Generally, in the instance of cyber affairs this is because their sexual needs are being met online. Usually people engaged in online affairs will have "cyber sex" in front of their computers with their online partners. More often than not this behavior escalates to phone sex. (Note: lack of sex along with excessive Internet usage may instead be the sign of a pornography addiction, which contrary to popular belief can be just as harmful as an affair)
Sudden interest in new subjects. Is your spouse suddenly quoting philosophers, listening to music they never liked before or developed a suspicious passion for politics? Taking on the interests of a new lover is part of the infatuation stage.
Encourages you to do things without them. When occasions come up that you should be attending together they diplomatically find their way out of it. In some situations they will proactively suggest things you can do without them, like a trip to see your family or a friend. Knowing you're definitely going to be out of their hair for a scheduled time gives them peace of mind while carrying out their plans behind your back.
 Picks fights over trivial things. Getting you to be the bad guy is an old trick used by cheaters to suppress feelings of guilt and justify straying to themselves. Watch out for major attacks over how you squeeze that tube of toothpaste the wrong way.
An unusual amount of hang-up calls. A sign that your partner might have taken it to the phone...and that's just one step before meeting personally. (This of course, could also be a real-life lover calling.)
Forgets to wear their wedding ring. Chronic "forgetting" may be intentional. Going sans wedding ring is not just a way to announce that they're available, a wedding ring is a reminder of you, which can make a cheater feel guilty and that's the last thing they want to feel.
The infamous gut feeling. Not to be ignored: Experts say that as many as 85% of women and 50% of men who "had a feeling" that their spouses were up to something, were right.
Online affairs are just as harmful as real ones
You might have been told, "As long as he/she is on the computer at home, you have nothing to worry about. After all they aren't going out." This a complete misleading notion. When attention that should be given to your relationship is focused elsewhere, the result is damage - regardless of where it's done.
If your spouse is engaging in cyber sex with their online 'love interest' you are being cheated out of a vital part of your relationship. Don't kid yourself - in a healthy relationship you should be the prime sexual focus of your partner. When your partner takes on a new sexual outlet you are being excluded. It is not a harmless indulgence. It is selfish fun at the expense of the intimacy you deserve. It is NOT OK and will contribute to the deterioration of your relationship.
 Internet interactions encourage people to open up to each other in way that doesn't normally happen in real life. The Internet has a way of unhealthily accelerating the bonding process between people. The Internet for many people is a forum where they can be the person they wish they were in real life. Relationships forged in cyberspace are free from the typical frustrations that 'spoil' normal relationships like bills, children, work, money and household chores. When the online relationship progresses what typically happens is your partner compares your relationship to the one with the online lover. When in an Internet relationship, it is not uncommon for people to plan things like making long distance moves or living together before even meeting in real life. Upon reading emails to the 'lover' of a cheating spouse most people are shocked at the detail and calculation they sometimes put into future plans, including manipulating their spouse into initiating a divorce.
The bottom line is, don't think for a minute that what starts online stays online. And if something is going on, it is your business, and that brings us to the next section...
Ways to see what your partner is doing online
 Most people feel that snooping is bad but if moving forward to a better life requires proof that there are (or hopefully aren't) things going on behind your back, there is no other way. The following is a good first step if you are suspicious about your partner's activity but don't have much to go on. After you decide that your findings look suspicious you're going to want to see exactly what they're doing and who they are doing it with. For that you might want to invest in some spy software (we'll get to that later).
On to the preliminary investigation.
Things you can do on your own:
Check their browser history: This will tell you what sites they were on and when.
- View->Explorer Bar->View History (or just CTRL+H):
- In the History section, you will see
a list of sites they went to:
- You can sort the history section anyway you like.
4. You can even search for keywords. Interestingly, I
have found things that weren't on the list this way.
5. Double click on the site name and a list of pages visited on
that site will appear.
- Right click on the page you want to examine. You can find out when they were on the page by clicking on Properties.
7. This is the display you get after clicking on Properties.
If there is a History icon on the browser click it or just hit CTRL +H. If neither of the above works for you go to the top bar - select Tasks->Tools->History. (On older versions: Communicator>Tools>History) To sort history to View for all sorting options.
To search histories go to Edit-> search or hit CTRL+F.
If they are deleting their history: You can still find out what they are doing by checking the "Temporary Internet Files" folder. This folder holds cookies and graphics picked up while surfing.
Go to C: /Windows/Temporary Internet Files From View on the top bar select Details to display the folder contents as I have in them the below graphic:
Clicking the tabs above the contents lets you sort the folder anyway you want. To see sites visited in chronological order sort by "Last Modified".
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